Praying My Goodbyes

For about four months, I have been deceived.
He juggled between three love affairs.
For months I tried to keep the relationship going.
I gambled on love and lost.

I negotiated with the Lord many times.
I thought to myself if I took a chance on our love,
There will no longer be room for what ifs and maybes.
I fell in love, but I also failed in it.

It is true that one knows once something isn't quite right.
I felt it but tried to understand.
I allowed him to abuse me.
I loved him too much to let go.

I faltered at my decision in ending our relationship.
He kept putting false hopes in my heart.
I accepted him despite how desolate he left me.
I prayed to God that He change him to be the man I met.

God sent me angels to pray with me.
They all said the same thing about how wrong he is for me.
And when the prayers I prayed where no longer apt.
They uttered the right prayers that I could not utter.

I prayed that I could no longer wait and hope for nothing.
I prayed "Lord, further pain may break me."
I prayed for concrete leadings and dead ends.
I prayed that he would spell for me YES or NO.

Within a week's time, God revealed to me.
The man I loved chose darkness and he was taking me with him.
God showed me two other women who were deceived like me.
The love was not worth fighting for.

Today, I could not even bring myself to grieve.
There is such joy in the morning.
God allowed me to lose everything so I could gain Him.
Forever I will sing of Your goodness, Lord!