God Smiles at Us

I don't even have to do anything to make God love me. He lovingly gazes at me as I sleep, and says to Himself that I am His beloved creation. He would remember that time He formed me in my mother's womb and breathed the very life I have now. He enveloped me with His mighty armor that no harm could be done upon me.

Now I am faced with this question: Does my life right now give Him pleasure? I delayed obedience for a while before finally going to the U.S. I delayed because I thought God would always understand. Yet God's message was delayed obedience is disobedience just the same.

My main objective for obeying after two years of waiting is simply to please God. "I'll pray about it" is unacceptable if you can't make that decision in two years. When I told my co-discerner all that God revealed to me, she told me that she is happy about it, and that the next step is to act on the decision. I left home even if I thought I already liked writing as a living because I know it would please God that I forget myself -specifically, my comforts.

I cannot imagine how Noah and his family were able to endure 120 years of mockery and hardship for building an ark. However, they did have a warning from God so they responded. What God said, happened. Now, if God would tell me there will be 40 days of rain, and then He will provide me specific measurements for the ark, I am not sure if I would do the same thing out of fear of the Lord. It is not a normal occurrence to hear God the way Noah did, even when I pray. But what matters is, God speaks to me and assures me about His greatness.

Obedience unlocks understanding. Now, even after my discernment, things remain uncertain about what God truly wills for me. Sometimes, I do not have a joyful disposition because my obedience is still half-hearted. I may have left everything behind, but part of me screams that I shouldn't have. God tells me to obey Him gladly.

The Lord directs my path. He delights in every detail of my life. He takes pleasure in all who honor Him, in those who trust in His constant love. What pleases the Lord is a life of total dedication and commitment. He is pleased in daily service, a job well done, and simple cafe conversations if offered unto Him. He is pleased if every decision is based upon one inspiration, and that is: to glorify Him.

I can only pray that I act accountably as His servant, and remember all His promises especially in times when I am shaken.

Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your ways to the Lord. Trust in Him and He will do this: He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, a justice for your cause like the noon day sun. - Ps 37:4-5

The Lord looks down from heaven on all mankind to see if there are any who are wise, who want to please God. - Ps 14:2

To Do His Will My Pleasure

I see service as a self-offering to the Lord. There were countless times when I have been disappointed with my co-servants who do not seem to give their best for the Lord and for His community. Because of these disappointments, I fall asleep in my service. Sometimes, it becomes too burdensome that I just make it a task to tick off my schedule. God said that my service will give Him pleasure, for as long as I have given my best. So, if something so burdensome could be a form of worship to God, let me never be free from service. If it were to make God smile, why would I not serve Him to the very end?

I want to worship in spirit and truth. Sometimes in worship, I notice that the music ministry is distracted. When I find out it is because of unavailability for practices, I want to question their commitment. Why do they have so many reasons, when we are all employed and have almost the same priorities? But God reminds me to see worship as He sees it: beautiful and pleasing to the ears if it came from the heart.

I really cannot fathom the depth of the Lord's knowledge. Unlike a presentation before people, God does not judge my performance or rate me in my preparedness for worship. He takes me as I am: whether sinful or pure, blemished or healed, or hardened or peaceful.

I am unworthy but I can make God smile. I have been planned for God's pleasure. That even when I awake or slumber, I can please God. There was this brother who got into an accident and was given a second chance in life. While in his hospital bed, I witnessed him raising his hands and singing the loudest in prayer. This was a man who almost had his body crushed, his face swollen, and his faculties almost rendered useless. Yet he praised God with all his might. It was such a glorious sight.

I want to please Him everyday in every way, whether it be in my service even when it is burdensome, in worship even when I am unworthy - or even when that time comes that I am physically unable to. For even when my body will waste away, His spirit that lives inside of me will boast of Him forever.

Measurement of Success

I once lived a wasteful life in Manila. I worked uncontrollably, and somehow got tired of the pains that my manager caused me. Because of this, I did not give my best at my work in the hotel. There was no room for growth in my career. I cried almost every night after work at the blessed sacrament. One day, although I was done for my shift and had a balanced transaction, somehow my cash float was missing some money. There was an investigation, I was judged as careless, and got suspended. To me, that was the end of my career in the hotel industry. I felt I wasted four years of my life getting a bachelor's degree in Hotel Management.

In the midst of these painful events in my life, my father got imprisoned, and my brother wasted all our money with women and booze. My family was torn with depression, and I lost track of what I was supposed to be doing. I realized that my family was more important and decided to go home. I quit my job, got into the IT business, and prayed hard. Again, I cried many times to the Lord in secret.

When I moved to my hometown, I realized that there was a big task of evangelization at hand. I took every effort to invite and follow up acquaintances so that they would join the community. I also focused on improving myself by learning new things and doing my best at work for the Lord. I found my happiness at work because it was a place where many believers worked together. Next thing I know, I got a promotion, brought many friends to community, and helped my family pick up the pieces. Add to this, I was flying business and first class, and checking in five-star hotels - all the services I only used to provide when I was working in the hotel industry.

When I graduated, I thought that my life was about having a glamorous job and becoming successful in my field. I thought it was about pleasing your manager so that you can get a promotion. I learned the hard way. I may not be as successful, but God has given me wisdom to lead people to their true home. By God's grace, I overcame my difficulties. He also made me see that I need to take full responsibility in my role as an evangelizer. In life, there are more important things to worry about.

"Seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you." - Matthew 6:33