Un-prodigal Me

I am moved by this article. It talks about how God can make something good out of painful situations. It talks about the feeling of unworthiness when we have sinned.

Yesterday, I studied the Parable of the Prodigal Son. Popularly known for the love of a (prodigal) father, I picked up the lesson on the attitudes of the two brothers. Much as I realize that I am redeemed and now bask in the Lord's untiring love for me, the barely healed hurts in my heart cloud my perception of God's encompassing love and mercy. I am guilty of wondering what good can turn out of the people who have done me evil and pain. If at all, perhaps the experiences have allowed me to see that God is my comforter, that I can help others in the same situation, and that I am tougher than before. But as to how loving God should be to those who did such evil, I could not fathom. My mind tells me not to even pray for them, after all they have done.

I have become like the older brother in the parable. I come to God and tell Him, "Lord, show them who You are...that all things work for good for those who love You (Ro 8:28)." But the following article tells me that everything that happens is part of God's plan. It is not right for me to put Him in a box. That God is merciful and generous to all His children, and that none of us deserves more than the other. To be blessed at all is supposed to make me grateful. That just because I am now walking in the light does not mean that God should bless me more. That just because another sinner did more or did worse does not mean that God should spare him less than He spared me. God can still transform anyone who comes to Him with a repentant heart. Forgive me, Lord, for I have sinned.

Transforming Power by Elisabeth Elliot

If God is almighty, there can be no evil so great as to be beyond His power to transform. That transforming power brings light out of darkness, joy out of sorrow, gain out of loss, life out of death.

Sometimes we boggle at the evil in the world and especially in ourselves, feeling that this sin, this tragedy, this offense cannot possibly fit into a pattern for good. Let us remember Joseph's imprisonment, David's sin, Paul's violent persecution of Christians, Peter's denial of his Master. None of it was beyond the power of grace to redeem and turn into something productive. The God who establishes the shoreline for the sea also decides the limits of the great mystery which is evil. He is "the Blessed Controller of all things." God will finally be God, Satan's best efforts notwithstanding.

"Because it’s the only way to grow spiritually and be emotionally healthy. The Bible says, 'Make this your common practice: Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you can live together whole and healed.'" - James 5:16

My Understanding of Commitment

Last night, I thought about what I learned in community.
How different life in the Spirit is from the secular world.
Where radicalism is worthy when Christ is the cause.
It is more of a personal discovery as to the purpose for ‘being’.

Commitment taught me to serve even when I had no strength.
Commitment taught me to give when all I have left is little.
Commitment taught me to love and forgive the unlovable.
Commitment taught me about being in a safe environment.

I thought about the kind of service that my mentor showed.
She led by example going out of her comfort zone – way out.
I was blessed with transportation, money, and a source of living.
And I realized what I had belonged to the community.

I traveled to pick up and bring home my sisters foremost.
I traveled without counting the distance.
God is generous to me so His people may see Him generous.
I put it upon myself to ensure my brethren were home safe.

I even remember taking a brother home to a faraway town.
His father was killed and news about slaying was rampant.
His barrio was known as a rebel’s camp, so public transit ended at 9pm.
I took him home with rosary in hand and Psalm 91 on my lips.

We had a way of life where we gathered nine times a month.
Four Fridays was for prayer meetings, four weekdays for small groups.
One Sunday for social action – not counting service-related meetings.
The servant-leaders had to meet their members separately.

In all those times, we took care of our brethren.
We were happy to be with those who traveled far.
I had a share of being on the receiving end here in the U.S.
But humility is godly, self-pity the enemy’s priority.

When I asked a brother to take me home because I had no ride.
He turned me down and it rang in my ears for a while.
There is another brother who would drop everything
He would say, “That’s service”; more so to make sure I was home safe.

More than an ordinary friendship, community is a privilege.
It is where meaningful relationships are built.
In it, God entrusted me to my brethren.
God instructed me to commit first to my brethren.

I held a sister in high regard because she was a committed member.
So I asked her about a Gentile friend we were evangelizing who disappeared.
She denied knowing, yet believed in lies spurn out of bitterness.
She thought it was a pastoral concern and saw the need for intervention.

We have a different understanding of teachings in community.
The secular world teaches us to respond in apathy and indifference.
My commitment is simple: it knows no bounds, it protects, it guides.
It says, “I am not my own; I must forgive; I must honor and respect.”

They devoted themselves to the teaching of the apostles and to the communal life, to the breaking of the bread and to the prayers. Awe came upon everyone, and many wonders and signs were done through the apostles. All who believed were together and had all things in common; they would sell their property and possessions and divide them among all according to each one's need. Every day they devoted themselves to meeting together in the temple area and to breaking bread in their homes. They ate their meals with exultation and sincerity of heart, praising God and enjoying favor with all the people. And every day the Lord added to their number those who were being saved. – Acts 2:42-47

I Go for Depth

He was an entrepreneur as are most Chinoys in Pinas.
But he paid off many people for his business to survive.
He said he sees no point in pursuing his career here.
He’s better off in the Philippines where he could move freely.
I told him that he can be honest and earn just enough to survive.

He said he believes his mom’s "vibes" on people.
He believes in Feng Shui and could make good business out of it.
He said he no longer believed in marriages.
Just because his brothers did not do so well in that area.
Of course, that is just an addition to his traumatic experiences.

I listened, but I tried mostly to wake him up.
Surely, God must have sent him here because that kind of life was futile.
He must simply allow God more room in his life.
That if he went back to bribery and going with the flow,
He probably has not learned anything at all.

As if to highlight our discussion, during the mass we attended,
The reading talked about non-conformity to the worldly ways.
I do not see him victorious in his plight.
Although he could live to inspire with his story,
He chooses to go back to his old life.

That was the last I heard of him.
I have long seen that friendship's all there is to it.
But now even friendship seems out of the equation.
I tell you, it is really difficult to become a disciple.
Yet, as a discip le, it is much more difficult to fish for more.

Jesus said to him, "If you wish to be perfect, go, sell what you have and give to (the) poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.” When the young man heard this statement, he went away sad, for he had many possessions. Then Jesus said to his disciples, "Amen, I say to you, it will be hard for one who is rich to enter the kingdom of heaven. – Mt 18: 21-23

"To anyone who has, more will be given and he will grow rich; from anyone who has not, even what he has will be taken away...But the seed sown on rich soil is the one who hears the word and understands it, who indeed bears fruit and yields a hundred or sixty or thirtyfold...Whoever has ears ought to hear." – Mt 13

"Sometimes I sympathize with the author of Psalm 119--"Gusts of anger seize me as I think of evil men who forsake Thy law"--and wish I could force people to accept what I see as truth. Jesus did not force them. "With many such parables He would give them His message, so far as they were able to receive it" (Mk 4:33 NEB). There may be some who are willing but not able to receive, others able but not willing. Only God can be sure who's who. We are to be faithful in transmitting the message and willing to respect the hearer. If God grants him freedom of will to receive or reject, so must I. If he is as yet unable to receive it, I must entrust him to God, remembering the narrow limits of my own understanding as well." - Excerpt from Able to Receive by Elisabeth Elliot

Blessed, Broken, and Given Away

This is my article written in the book "Seasons of Grace". The book talks about waiting in the Lord. An open invitation was sent to Ang Lingkod ng Panginoon and Ligaya ng Panginoon branches in the Philippines to write their experiences about waiting in the Lord. The chosen articles were later compiled and made into this book and published in October 2005. The book was created much like a devotional for all the seasons of waiting that a woman of the Lord experiences. Thus the last page for every article contained reflection questions.