A Year Wiser

(a) In the past year, I have been blessed with so many things:
- A trip back to my home country to be with my loved ones
- A new home and my very own bedroom
- A new car of my preferred brand which is a necessity in California
- A tourist visa approval to attend the Hillsong conference
- A pleasant work environment and colleagues that know how to have fun

(b) These all translate, not as material things, but as things that are quite vital to me:
- Quality time
- Solitude
- Convenience
- Self-improvement
- Source of livelihood

2.
(a) There are some other things that I wish did not happen:
- Premature neck arthritis
- Mobility limitations on my right arm
- Inability to swim a lengthy distance or for a long period of time
- Inability to play the guitar for more than 2 songs at a time
- Inability to work out or jog
- Dependence on medicines
- Crystal Bowersox not winning American Idol

(b) These translate to two things only:
- Bad health habits
- Too much TV

3.
(a) There are some things that have not changed at all:
- My faithful God
- My family and my best friend
- My conscious need for a lip balm
- My fascination with technology
- My loyalty towards Edward

(b) These translate to one thing: I have everything I need.

I may have messed up some, succeeded in others, but God made me see that it is in how I deal with the experiences that would make me wise. There may be times when God foils the plans of my foolish mind, but I should trust that He knows better. I should not turn away, but hold tightly on to Him even more when things don't go my way. I thank God for His generosity, and my loved ones who made my life more meaningful over the past year.
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Birthday Memoirs

There are only two things I know in this life.

One. I found love and I fought to the end for it.

Two. I lost that love, and I am falling down hard.

Only my love knows who I am because she looked closely.

Yet perhaps many did know some of my total package.

The ones who breathed and loved and cherished me.

The ones who experienced that exhilarating feeling.

The ones who wonder why I am of age but still clueless.

The ones who figured it out but pretended not to know.



I am a hypocrite hiding behind the veil of faith.

I miss the feeling of skin on my skin, lips on my lips...

Neck, breasts, inner thigh, and that soft center.

I miss the touch that presses my back closer to her,

Moans that beckon for more touch, love, and great need.

Throes of passion and ecstasy that connect one to another.

I want it all with you again, one and the same you.

I look at others, but I could not read into their soul.

I see the same face, the same smile, the one I always love(d).



My love for you kept you secure while distance made it strong.

Your love held me together for many years until one day.

You said you were tired, and would give up.

I had to throw you in a corner to choose.

You required me to live as though nothing ever happened.

You have been cruel enough to let others believe a lie.

Hiding me for nine years shows you are ashamed of me.

I choose honesty, freedom, and the queer lifestyle.

I bid you ...my beautiful and longest love... farewell.