My family yearns for love. We were not raised to be affectionate, and we rarely said "i love you" to one another. Sometimes, the only language of love that permeates within our circle is the giving of gifts. We were all deprived of full attention because my mom stood as father and mother to us. Mama's gifts could be in the form of cooking for us, preparing our school lunch, and buying us material things - to the extent of living beyond our means. I presume it was because she wanted to compensate for the lack of a father figure when we were growing up.
When I was young, my mom said she would buy me a car as a graduation gift. When I graduated, I reminded her of her promise. So when my mom retired from the bank in 2000, she bought me a used and really nice car, the latest model at the time. Another time, we wanted to own cell phones, and mama just bought us then and there. Even when we have so much debts, my brother got a new car, adding to our debts. Yet, deep inside of me, I was happy because the family would fit in one car when they would have their weekend bonding at the mall.
I was no different. I managed to treat my family to a fancy restaurant at least once a week even though I had almost maxed out my two credit cards. This was because it allowed my family to come together once a week to make up for all the unexpressed love we had for one another. I have not been a good steward. In terms of finances, I have not been able to help pay bills that much before I went to the US because I had my own debts to pay.
Now that I am earning more, I took it upon myself to pay my bills, and send home some money to help my family. Had I not been blessed with generous relatives and acquaintances, I would not be able to stay here longer. It is a tough life, away from the comforts of my home - surrounded with family and friends, and not being in my own country. I always pay cash. I do not have a bank account, a local ID, a car, and a medical insurance. I still live with relatives. These were things that used to be automatic to me in my own country.
This is just the beginning of what God has in store for me. There is no room for complacency where God placed me. He is teaching me to be a good steward. By mid-June, I shall have finished paying my debts. Whether I go back home to my country or stay here, I would then have a clean slate and continue to give financial contribution to my family's needs.
I always remember the goodness of the Lord. I find joy in knowing that He blesses me because He wants to bless my family, my workplace, my community, my church, and all those around me. May those I meet experience a deeper knowledge of the Lord through me. May I take to heart the role of evangelizing my family at home and here. May I be able to truly emulate God's love with the way I live.
When I was young, my mom said she would buy me a car as a graduation gift. When I graduated, I reminded her of her promise. So when my mom retired from the bank in 2000, she bought me a used and really nice car, the latest model at the time. Another time, we wanted to own cell phones, and mama just bought us then and there. Even when we have so much debts, my brother got a new car, adding to our debts. Yet, deep inside of me, I was happy because the family would fit in one car when they would have their weekend bonding at the mall.
I was no different. I managed to treat my family to a fancy restaurant at least once a week even though I had almost maxed out my two credit cards. This was because it allowed my family to come together once a week to make up for all the unexpressed love we had for one another. I have not been a good steward. In terms of finances, I have not been able to help pay bills that much before I went to the US because I had my own debts to pay.
Now that I am earning more, I took it upon myself to pay my bills, and send home some money to help my family. Had I not been blessed with generous relatives and acquaintances, I would not be able to stay here longer. It is a tough life, away from the comforts of my home - surrounded with family and friends, and not being in my own country. I always pay cash. I do not have a bank account, a local ID, a car, and a medical insurance. I still live with relatives. These were things that used to be automatic to me in my own country.
This is just the beginning of what God has in store for me. There is no room for complacency where God placed me. He is teaching me to be a good steward. By mid-June, I shall have finished paying my debts. Whether I go back home to my country or stay here, I would then have a clean slate and continue to give financial contribution to my family's needs.
I always remember the goodness of the Lord. I find joy in knowing that He blesses me because He wants to bless my family, my workplace, my community, my church, and all those around me. May those I meet experience a deeper knowledge of the Lord through me. May I take to heart the role of evangelizing my family at home and here. May I be able to truly emulate God's love with the way I live.
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